To wrap up our wedding planning mental health chats I wanted to remind you all not to sweat the small stuff.
When you are planning a wedding all kinds of things happen that are unexpected. Someone from your family can't come and it's a surprise, or someone DOES come and it's an even bigger surprise! People show up with dates that didn't get plus ones, someone forgets the right shoes to wear.
These are all bummers right? I mean we spent however long planning down to the last detail and then something totally unforeseen can go wrong on the day. Or worse, something you totally knew was going to happen, does even though you were assured it wouldn't. It can totally make you feel de-railed and out of control and no one likes those feelings at all.
Part of the reason I became a planner is because of my legit hate feelings about disorganization and feeling out of control. I have never been good at watching things go wrong without stepping in to help and have always been a person who tries to anticipate everything that could go wrong and head it off at the pass. That's why I love my job! I get to think through all of the what ifs for you and safeguard against them!
I totally thought I did this for my own wedding too but I want to share a little story with you about how a few small totally freak things went wrong on my own wedding day and how I had two choices in the moment to deal with them. I could freak out and take it personally that something I had worked so hard on could still have snaphoos or, I could choose to let them roll off my back and enjoy the things that really mattered to me on the day.
I may seem like a bad planner for sharing some vulnerable moments from my own wedding with you, but it's my goal to remain real. Our industry and social media set us up to think that we have to BE perfect to have a perfect experience and that just couldn't be less true!
SO! Here's my storyyyyy.
We got married in Albuquerque, NM where my husband and I are both from and it was so exciting to go back home to share the day with all of our family and closest friends. We chose this super rad building as our venue and had our ceremony on the roof top where you could see our first apartment together. It was a total dream!
The morning of the wedding started out totally perf. My besties and I were all getting ready together and the morning was moving right along. Makeup and hair ran right on time and I felt like I was killing it! We go down for first look and I am so in love and excited and theeeeen I realize my hubs is wearing the totally wrong socks (he was supposed to match all of the other groomsmen and our Dads) and had a wonky knot in his tie. I laughed at him and remembered that his laid back attitude is why he balances me so well.
<----------- And besides look at how dang cute he is you guyzzz.
Family photos ran great, but not as planned as my family kept popping in when it wasn't time and his larger family couldn't all fit in one frame but we laughed and spent great time with people who we really love.
We get to the venue and I find out that the poor cake designer was cut off on the freeway, and when he slammed on his brakes the cake hit the box and was totally smashed on one side. No one could have anticipated that! I thought he was going to pass out when he told me poor guy, so I gave him a hug and we turned that sucker around and put some extra floral on it and no one (except me and my hubs who stood behind it when we cut it) could ever tell!
Ok you could totally tell HAHA but no one was looking that closely at all and because I didn't dwell on it, no one thought to look.
My dad forgot his suit jacket for the ceremony and didn't match my father in law, I forgot to put my sister in law who I totally love in the processional until like 5 seconds before we started and an elevator full of my family caught me going to the bathroom in the hall right before my reveal!
^ Voguing with my fave women ^My fave photo of us ^ Def not drunk.......
But you know what? Then I said my vows, drank my champs, danced with the love of my life and even got to do a power slide in my dress on the dance floor producing the best photo of my mom looking so embarrassed and me having the best time of my life. Ha! All of that small stuff flew right on out of my memory, and to be honest I had to sit down and really think back to remember these things to write this post.
Now this is not meant to be nightmare fuel. I am also not telling you all of this so you can add more things to worry about. I am telling you all of this because no matter how long and how hard you plan, there will be things that are not in anyone's control on your big day. Most of them will happen without you even being aware if you have a good team, but sometimes life happens and people are just along for the ride.
This is a gentle reminder to take those things in stride, say your vows, eat your smushed cake, and celebrate being with the love of your life. You only get one shot to enjoy your wedding, but life will keep happening every day after that. <3